Encourage one Another. Really cheap ways to bless others.
Something about the local thrift store having a table with a tablecloth and flowers and being offered a cup of tea completely won my heart. Since this discovery I have had a few cups of tea there too! It all just takes me back to Nanas kitchen and the welcome and homely feeling... that cannot really be described but I hope you all have felt it at some time. It is not glamorous or polished. It is truly simple and welcoming. Someone who wants to talk with you. Someone who asks how you are. Someone who bothered to throw a tablecloth on the table or add some flowers. And you feel as if you've been transported back to a simpler time. Someone who is actually pleased to see you. And it does you good!
The other part of this is the chat. Just to sit for a little while and chat. A cup of tea and a chat are amazingly restorative. There are really people who don't get to talk to anyone all day. In general I have been very lucky but last year I came face to face with a young woman and it was a situation we were both waiting in the same spot. So I said hello as I always would. She very begrudgingly said hello back then she turned away and looked at her phone and her body language made it clear I was to say no more. I truly did not exist to her. It was cutting. I thought well I guess there are people who get treated like this all the time day after day. So God showed me how that would be. Then I remembered.... how I chatted relentlessly to a taxi driver, inquiring after his day, his family and so on. At the end of the ten minute trip he said "thank you for talking with me, it was so nice." Another time I chatted to an old lady in the supermarket car park. She also said "thank you for talking to me." So I think maybe this is a number one way to encourage another person is to simple speak to them. Maybe compliment their work or dress or some other way to get the ball rolling.
Entertaining went completely crazy with elaborate dinner parties with unpronounceable and intimidated the heck out of many of us. It turns out a cup of tea, a biscuit and a chat is all anyone really wants. Maybe a sandwich. Or a scone or biscuit. My helpers are here two days or three days a week and morning tea and lunch are part of our understanding. Well, I have discovered a toasted sandwich seems to be the biggest hit, a slice of cake... in winter sometimes I made pasties or sausage rolls. And a cup of tea. They seem to think this is marvellous. We usually talk about the news, plans and make jokes then we all head off back to work. This is also very uplifting.
I remember Nan would take me to visit one of her sisters. She had a lot of sisters... being the youngest of thirteen. We would set off with some flowers from the garden. Maybe some eggs or veggies, fruit from a tree. Something Nan had. Once there the cup of tea and chat would go on for ages then her sister would give Nan something she had... or something she baked. So an exchange took place. Everything was shared.
Now here is an example... Mum comes to my place. She arrives with some biscuits she baked. I give her a dozen eggs and scones to take home. Then quite often Mum will ask me to cut her hair. So after our cup of tea and scone... I trim her hair. Then she heads to Chloe's house. She has a meal packed up that she has cooked for her Chloe's family. I use Mum as a courier and send something I baked also.... it is like a circle of exchanges. This week I sent her home with a baked dinner for my brother. And so it goes....
This reminds me of the hand delivered letter. If someone is travelling they can be your courier. There is nothing nicer than receiving mail this way! Then there is the hand delivered parcel. Since someone is travelling this is a chance to skip the post office charges and send your parcel. From me this week that would be eggs, apples and pears. And a note! 😊
I am old enough to remember STD phone calls. People would call each other and over a long distance it was quite expensive so you had to keep calls short. Now a STD is a sexually transmitted disease lol. But now being able to talk with someone long distance is nothing! I prefer messenger but there are many choices and ways to chat that cost nothing extra to our internet plan. To just ask someone how are they? Tell them you are thinking of them... maybe share a photo! It is so easy.
When the world seems out of control we need to encourage each other and also ourselves. The crazier things are the more the simple things feel wonderful. Wash the dishes and laundry, make a meal, take a bath, drink some tea, get some sleep. There is a whole new appreciation for these simple things. Taking someone a meal can be the biggest help of all.
I have shared this before... when the girls were in high school a boy from next door helped me with some work in the yard. I guess he was around fifteen. I went to pay him and he said he didn't want money. What he would really like is if I packed him a school lunch like I did for Chloe and Lucy everyday. Oh my goodness. Of course you know I did and I made it super beautiful. 😊 So he had noticed for goodness knows how long and this is what he really wanted.
Maybe it is just that thoughtfulness, kindness, consideration, interest, bring a good listener, having manners... all of these cost nothing but make a world of difference. 💗 xxx
What a beautiful thought! Mary Anne
ReplyDeleteWe arrived home from two weeks away and found that our neighbors had done our yard work and finished the clean up from the hurricane. We were both in tears. They have no idea how much this blessed us.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful message Annabelle, you have encouraged me to do this more, as I think of making the world a better place for you and me, the lyrics from a song I remember. Thanks xx
ReplyDeleteI smiled all the way through this post Annabelle. Several years ago I did housecleaning to help make ends meet & one of the elderly ladies I used to clean for would always say when I arrived "Oh i've just made us a cuppa". I originally would say to her "Oh you just drink yours & I'll do the cleaning" because I thought she was paying me to clean, not to sit & drink tea & chat. Then I came to realise that this was more important to her than the cleaning!! So we would always start my 2 hours with a cuppa & a chat. When she went moved south to live with her daughter I really missed her. Thank you for your posts & all that you share with us Annabelle. Your words mean a great deal. xx
ReplyDeleteThis is so true Annabel! People are so lonely especially our older generation but I suspect young people too. I’ve always been a talker and it’s amazing what stories people have when you get them chatting! Also I remember learning in nursing school how elderly people can suffer from sensory deprivation when they are alone and don’t receive hugs or a pat on the arm for example that made me sad. I used to work in a nursing home and I was always making sure to offer up hugs or spend extra time washing someone’s hair, they loved it. Humans are built for social interaction and it’s a gift to be able to offer that to others, as you say it costs nothing.
ReplyDeleteFrom Cheryl
Dear Annabel, this is a really beautiful post. With your encouragement I have managed to do some happy mail in the last two weeks. I have enjoyed the process of decorating the paper and envelopes. People who have received them so far have been really surprised and happy even though it is a small thing. I am now scribbling down very small things I notice or think - remember to tell such and such that for future happy mails. Love Clare
ReplyDeleteDear Annabel
ReplyDeleteI bet that man still remembers those school lunches as the best. You’ve made good memories for him. You never know what is going on in other people’s houses that make such a gesture so meaningful. Kindness is really thoughtfulness isn’t it?
I think some people don’t or won’t ‘get’ when a kindness is given to them and can be dismissive or rude. Maybe it’s never been in their nature to be kind or empathetic so it’s going to be a big blind spot.
However those who have been touched by kindness in a time of need value it highly.
A lovely and thought provoking article,
thanks
Kate xx
A lovely post Annabel, I agree simple pleasures like a cup of tea and a chat have surpassed fancy dinner parties,thank goodness! I have been making a bit more of an effort to attend our village community events like Saturday morning coffee in the Village Hall and I often sit with the lovely elderly ladies and have a chat.One day I will be that elderly lady( if I'm spared!) and I think I am blessed by the conversation.
ReplyDeleteSharing homemade cake or abundance from the garden is the nicest present too.
Penny in the UK
Oh, I love this so much Annabel and reading the comments. It's so true, my grandmas always gave us things, baking, fruit, something special they'd found whenever we visited. I understand how that young man must have felt, only vary rarely did my mum have time to pack us lunch, we usually slapped together a Vegemite sandwich on our way out the door as we walked to school, even as little girls. I still remember the day my mum cooked us fried chicken one morning for our school lunch, oh my word, I felt like I had the best lunch in history, and one time my grandma was looking after us and she made me a cheese, lettuce and mayo sandwich, I could taste the love, something so simple is one of my best food memories!!! My kids live a long way from me now so I have a box going for each of them that I fill with random things I find between visits, they love these boxes, my daughter does the same thing back to me. Also, a couple of my friends also have their kids in the big smoke so we are often taking things for each other's kids when we travel. God Bless you all. Deb
ReplyDeleteAnnabel, What a beautiful post. It is the little things that make it all worth while. Saying hello to someone or Good Morning while shopping does put a smile on ones face.
ReplyDeleteWhenever we had workers here we always made lunch for them and snacks. Most were totally surprised by our actions as it isn't normal any longer, which is sad.
When we travel I always let the hotel staff know what a wonderful job they are doing and how much we appreciate it. It is amazing to see their faces light up as they rarely get acknowledgement of their work.
When another neighbor snow blowed our neighbor's driveway because husband was traveling, (he usually does it for her) I ran up to the other neighbor's house and gave her a dishcloth I crocheted as a thank you. She never expected it and it made her happy.
We all need to be more kind and caring.
Oh, Annabel, thank you so much for this post.
ReplyDeleteWhen we're out in town once or twice per week, it's been a habit for many years to look at an employees nametag in the store/shop and speak to them by name. In a small area like ours (we were new here 3 years ago), in no time at all there'll be little chats that ensue. Baby pictures shown, or photos of grandchildren. A request for prayer for a health issue. Maybe a funny little story. I drop off cookies/baked goods at holidays in town. To be honest, I believe I've been blessed even more throughout; life isn't lonely. God's gifts are like that. --Elise in AZ's Mountains
Thank you for the smile from across the miles. What a wonderful and inspiring post. :-)
ReplyDeleteI love your method of blessing others that you visit. Your Nan taught you well.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little girl, my great aunt would send my grandmother a big box full of Christmas gifts for the whole family. So Christmas at Grandma's included gifts from Aunt Kate, too. She lived far away, but knew how to make our holiday extra special. Also she saved on postage even though she was a wealthy lady.☺️
My husband has a wonderful cousin. She sends a mystery box to our family. Inside are games, puzzles, and candy. Many of the items are hand-me-downs that her college age daughters no longer want. My kids have been blessed with stationery, hoodies, and scarves.
And that sweet lady is comforted to find a new home for her children's cast-offs.
Lovely post! I loved what the others shared as well!
Love,
Leslie in Ohio
This post was one of your best, my friend. It shares 'food for thought,' with everyone. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs to all.
Such a lovely positive post today, thank you Annabel. I remember my Mum, when we lived in hot Singapore, popping a drink of orange squash in a Tupperware cup, into the ice box, then next morning wrapping it into a little towel for my mid morning drink. By the time I got to it, it was a delicious slushy. She did this every day we were living there. Also my auntie one Christmas when Dad hadn’t been paid (mess up with the payroll so we went to my Grandparents house for Christmas) no money for presents so she gave me the joke yummy chocolate smokers set (it was allowed back then in the 60‘s) she had bought for my Dad. It was the best Christmas ever.
ReplyDeleteWe need to spread the kindness around, I often compliment folk if they deserve it and make sure I let their bosses know if they have been really helpful and nice. Chat to the lonely, it really helps.
Dearest Annabel, a beautiful post as usual ! The smallest things we just don't know how it will affect someone. I was at the coffee shop the other day and I started talking to a student and she said "thank you for talking to me I was feeling so sad" we chatted for a hour !
ReplyDeleteI've said before going to my Nana's place growing up was so beautiful. !
Her tiny house sparkled! She always had her best line on the table, and usually home made serviettes! She made them ! My Nana was always cooking or sewing ! What a beautiful gift that would be home made serviettes ! Pears soap Nana always smelled like fresh soap ! Winter shed have soup on the stove full of veggies ! So filling cheap and healthy ! Summer would be a beautiful fresh easy salad bread rolls, a pot of tea in proper China cups with matching saucers ! Such beauty in the little fine things. !
How gorgeous to be able to sit and have tea at the op shop ! Most places here wouldn't allow that due to OHS !
You are such a gorgeous person Annabel with a beautiful heart. Making lunches for your workers and making all that good for Chloe and family. One thing I love from childhood is a corn beef. So versatile , lasts ages in the fridge too.
What a wonderful story about making that boys lunch. I'm sure he remembers it ! I went to buy some paper to write letters but they just don't make it here anymore.
Love Sonia in Sydney
Australia
Sonia, I have very similar memories of my grandmas. One was relatively well of and one was a pensioner. Both were amazing.
Delete, however my grandma who was not so well off made the best rock cakes and taught me so much. When her rubber gloves wore out with holes in them she would cut them up for elastic bands. I still do that to this day. Both amazing women in hire day. So much I could tell about both of them. What a great post that would be if if we all wrote about our grandmas and their special ways.
I’ve read this essay three times already. Planning to take some grocery-store flowers into the office today! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Aunt Diane!xxx
DeleteWhat a lovely post! You are always so kind and encouraging. I frequently talk to people when my husband and I are "out and about". He's gotten used to it now. I will see someone and tell them how pretty they look, or what a gorgeous dress, etc. We all crave validation. And it costs nothing to be a blessing that way!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the part about the neighbour boy asking for a packed lunch instead of money, I wept. People do notice what we do, especially children. Live to be a blessing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder Annabel
Oh thank you. Yes small things...xxx
DeleteWhen my great grandmother was still alive, Granny would bring her to visit and I was always so pleased to put a tablecloth on the table, make a simple meal and serve her. What made it special wasn't that I did it for her. It was her reaction of sincere appreciation for my efforts. I think often of those little visits and how much they meant all because I put out a cake, make coffee and had a pretty table with a little yard picked bouquet.
ReplyDeleteHopefully my daughter is moving near me in the next few months and I sincerely look forward to inviting her for lunch and making it pretty.
As it is now, we tend to keep bags for each other. I usually have it hanging near the back door and each time I come across an item I need to return to her or I find something I think she would appreciate as I'm working about the house, I'll put it in the bag. And then we exchange our bags when we visit.
Blessings to you in return Annabel. 🙋🏼♀️💕
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