Andy.

Today Andy's ashes were buried on the top of the hill as he requested.   He had shown me the exact spot.  It took many months to get ready for this day.   His request was simple but I wanted to make it as nice as possible.  Also it is a sandy hill.  My helpers dug it out, filled it with rock and road base then built a fence and more.

For those of you that have followed our story you know that we met and dated when we were 15 and 16 but it was not until our forties that we got married!  

I have shared our story, and his death in January,  here already and I am too tired and daunted to share it again.   I will go from where I left off last.  

It is clear to me now that Andy knew he was dying and he did everything possible to prepare.  He even left me notes with passwords I would need.  He filed his final Will only three weeks before his death and he did it all with urgency.

What I want to get across is the important stuff.   We had been through wonderful times and also terrible times.   He had suffered the loss of his parents both in their sixties then the loss of his children who rejected him, one by one. 

Then the icing on the cake was his brother and sisters excluded him from family events and gatherings.   To be fair they also excluded me.  I was included by being excluded as well lol.

Andy went through a period of heavy drinking and I can't really say I blamed him however it got out of hand and was going to kill him.   At the beginning of 2021 I read the riot act.

Unknown to me, until I found out after his death,  he wrote in his Bible a pledge that he would never drink again and dated it January 2021.  And just like that he never did drink again.

The Bible is a big help on the issues of rejection.  Jesus was rejected and put to death after all.  But Andy and I both had felt we didn't "fit in" since about kindergarten and it took me until recent years to understand that this is a good thing.  We are not meant to fit into this world.   Praise God for it.  Last week this video came to me and I thought it was gorgeous and timely.... 14 year old preaches....  It is short but it is really something.   Nope, when you get rejected do not worry for Jesus himself was rejected.  But God does not reject you.  He knows and loves every hair on your head.  Still... it breaks my heart to see kids excluded! 

When we first met we were both believers.  This was a non negotiable for us both.   But when he stopped drinking he turned to God in a fresh way and dedicated his evenings to Bible study,  reading,  sermons and he started watching the series The Chosen.    At the same time he became active on the farm and it was a new lease on life.   The more he watched The Chosen the more he studied the Bible.  The more our every conversation was about God and the things going on in the world currently much of which is scripture being fulfilled.  When we were first married Andy would ask me questions about the Bible and now he was ahead of me and I am endevoring  to catch up with him.    In this process I discovered something I didn't understand before and that is that God can redeem the time.  We have all lost time for some reason at some stage.  But I saw with my own eyes God turned three years into many more for Andy.  He made up for the time he lost and then some.    Then next I have learned...  it is entirely possible to bring people to Christ and do good after death. Months ago a Bluebird wrote to me how Andy's story had influenced her to review her faith and make changes and I thought then how nothing could make him happier than hearing something like this!   But today I heard another story as you will hear...

After Andy died I decided that his joy and enthusiasm from watching The Chosen was something that maybe would help me?  So I began to watch.  Soon I "got it" and my days were transformed to feel that I was there in the time Jesus walked the earth and what that would have been like.  And as with Andy my head was in the Bible constantly as a result.  And then Bible study.  And so it continues.   

In Andy's last week he attended church at Bordertown and met Pastor Joel and also made a friend that he talked about.   Today Pastor Joel attended and he did a beautiful job.   I knew he was on track when he had chosen a verse about "longing for our heavenly home."   Andy was very much longing for his heavenly home.   His body was failing him.  His health made his days and nights a struggle.  Also the world...  and the churches.... Andy was just devastated about some churches wanting to change the worlds of The Lords Prayer... it was dictated by Jesus to the Apostles... yet apparently that is not good enough.  The education system... the public schools and even pre schools telling kids they might be in the wrong body and "misgendered" and that boys can have tampons and men can have babies.... and on it goes.  Maybe you're actually a cat or a dog?    I could go on.  Hopefully you get the idea.  What is evil is called good now and what is good is called evil.  We are there. 

Well,  Andy could not cope with it.  He longed for his heavenly home. 

The second thing that Pastor Joel said that made me know he is amazing was when I asked what should I pay him to do this and travel so far and he replied "we won't worry too much about that."   That is exactly what my Dad would say.    Yep,  they were my Dad's words.   Of course I did "worry about that" but he never asked for anything.

Pastor Joel told me a story today.   Andy had spoken about these things and how evil they are at the church.   Soon after the leaders came under pressure by the government to include some of this woke stuff in their education system... lured/ threatened by funding or lack of.  They remembered what Andy had said and wondered if somehow his clear message and brief time there had been a word/message/angelic message from God right before they needed it.  It seems that his words built them up to resist these pressures.  I felt oh boy would Andy ever be happy about this!  

 

These are the scriptures I read today after Pastor Joel spoke and after The Lords Prayer.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present not the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be ale to seperate us form the love of God,  that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord. 

And ...

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil.  He shall preserve your soul.   The Lord shall preserve you going out and coming in, from this time forth and even evermore.

(Romans 8 and Psalm 121)

Pastor Joel said :

Our Lord says  "I am the resurrection and the life.  Those who believe in me, even though they died, will live,  and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die."  

So I feel tired but I feel happy that Andy's exact wishes were carried out and he got his heavenly home he so longed for.   He would adore the headstone,  the cross, the scriptures...

I am very grateful for the absolute assurances I have and that I have been looked after and provided for in every possible way yet still feel sad and weary.  I am sharing this in the belief that someone else will benefit because there is a lot to unpack here about God, time, addictions, second chances, rejections and not fitting in, legacies and faithfulness. xxx