Back to Basics. The Comfort of Routine.

Routines are glorious. Where do I even start!?  If you were to have a hidden camera into a well organised household and watch everyone get ready for their day it would be most interesting.  Each person has a routine and together all these routines see them out the door with breakfast in their bellies, everything they need for the day with them and they know where they are going and what they are doing!   Like a well oiled machine ...




Of course some days there is a spanner in the works but overall the routine is the key to success.  And interestingly people thrive on it,  especially children.  Even pets. Sparkie already had her routines and she is looking at me like "Are you crazy?" if I fall short.  👀

Routines take effort to establish but each thing that is part of your routine is something that you will eventually do automatically and dont have to think about.  This is a relief.  We don't have to decide to do our teeth every morning we just do them.  Loads of decisions were pre made and we can carry these tasks out without thinking.  In fact we are probably thinking about other things entirely while we do them with that freed up mental space. 

When the wheels fall off in some kind of crisis... then it might be our routines that keep the household running and the basics in place.  A saving grace.




When we are in a crisis or overwhelmed I always mention Elizabeth Elliots "Do the next thing."  The more things we can just do because they are automatic the better.  

I remember when the kids were small... the hours between 4 and bedtime were intense!  It was an absolute fete to have tired children bathed, fed and in bed peacefully by a good time (7.30 was the magic number mostly) and it is the time your baby is always unsettled and you are trying to manage making dinner and juggle two hundred different things at the same time.  I developed a routine in each stage.  Starting dinner in the morning was one thing that helped.  Early baths also helped when there was a baby included.   But the routine of the day and evening help kids too.  A sweet little bed time routine helps them settle down.  Actually as an adult a sweet little bed time routine helps me also!  




Having lived through a crisis or two, with children,  I discovered that keeping things as normal as possible helped reassure them and myself.  We can not control everything but what we can control... truly keep things as normal and happy as possible.  Now our Grandparents and parents no doubt were so good at this that we lived through many a crisis we didn't even know about thanks to them. 😊  Their routines made us feel we could really on them and basically EVERYTHING about their house was comforting. 

In normal day to day times I am a person who easily falls into stress/anxiety.  So I just "drop life" better the things are under control, running smoothly as little last minute panic as possible!

When worried I keep to the routine and add cooking and cleaning.  I keep extra busy.  If I feel I am doing something that is helping or productive I do better (and the family does better) if I am providing meals or doing something!  By making a meal I might be helping someone else maintain their normal!




A couple of weeks ago there were several very intense days in the world news.  I noticed everyone was on edge.   It gave me a reminder that when we are prepared we are glad we did it!  That even so I was reviewing things.  And that we absolutely must keep the ball rolling, keep the home fires burning and everything running as normally as possible.  That is a great comfort.  These efforts will hugely impact your family,  that they can come home to a happy home and everything feels homely and warm.  Their little world is intact. 




Whatever you can do ahead of time to make keeping meals on the table, the washing done... whatever it is... these are investments in success on hard days.  Everyone has them!  It might be that you are just too sick or too tired... but if you are prepared you can still feed everyone and they are none the wiser!  I have a thing about staying on top of the laundry.  It is never a big deal and I never have washing to fold or iron.  If something went wrong I would be ok for a fair while.

Routine helps us have order instead of chaos.  It truly is a comfort and going about things automatically we can pray,  listen to music... work happily and see the fruit of our work.   We can also dodge chaos ie we learned to lay out our clothes for the next day every evening.  Mum would set the table ahead of time.  Lots of things can be built into the routine to make all aspects of life easier.   Maybe its menu planning on the weekend.  Checking your diary so no birthdays or events sneak up on you...   

Routines give uncertain times some normalcy.  They improve your life and cost nothing!  When they become good habits they might last a life time!  For most of us and especially children chaos is really very stressful.  We can't avoid it all be we can avoid some of it.

Largely we get to choose if our home is peaceful and cozy in a crazy world and the comforts of home will be something that children remember in sixty years time.  Hopefully they will pass this along into their own families.

Some times and some days are just hard.  I felt out of sorts from bad dreams this morning.  It slowed me down to a snails pace.  Great for a Monday! 🙄 But tonight I have clean sheets, washing put away, a yummy dinner and really things are all ok... thanks to my routine.  This is a great comfort.  My Nana and Mum would be pleased I caught on to their methods!xxx

Comments

  1. Great topic, thank you! So many true items it is hard to just comment on one or two. Staying busier than usual when stressed saved me right after my husband passed away, as well as getting ready for tomorrow morning the evening before. The coffee pot is always set up! You also wrote a series years ago suggesting having cooked meals in portions in the freezer (creating our own take out area) and that is a habit I keep…have four meals there right now so I never have to face cooking if I don’t want to. Thank you again for the time and effort you spend helping us. Hilogene in Az.

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  2. Annabel, a wonderful blog. Routine holds are lives together daily and most when our days are scrambled.
    I remember the nursery rhyme Wash on Monday · Iron on Tuesday · Mend on Wednesday · Churn on Thursday · Clean on Friday · Bake on Saturday · Rest on Sunday. My Mom lived by this and handed it down to me. (Well all at least, though churning isn't in it, it is more like shopping day.)
    Teaching our children a routine is important, my son even reminds me that he makes his bed when he gets up so when he comes home it all looks neat. It's funny what our children remember from their childhood. It is the time to instill good routines into their lives that will carry on through their adulthood.
    Routines also help when things go astray, I had to leave my husband on his own for 2 weeks when I was caring for my Dad, everything was done so he had very little to do, only needed to do one load of laundry. There were meals in the freezer and he only needed to cook if he felt like it.

    Again, a great blog post!

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  3. For years I had a sign in my kitchen (in Latin, just because!) and it said “Do What You are Doing” that was my little reminder to complete each task and not get distracted. But yes, routine is the key. 🙂 Gill in Norway

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    1. Thanks Gill, That is so lovely. We just have to get on with it!xxx

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  4. Dear Annabel
    This is an interesting read and very wise words from you . I remember hearing a child raising expert saying children have no control over their lives. That makes your observation that children love routine all the more insightful as at least strong routines give the children some comfort in the predictability of the routines around them.
    We all crave a bit of sensible predictability these days!
    Take care
    Kate x

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    1. Thanks Kate. Yes indeed reassurance is rather nice at all ages!xxx

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  5. I look forward to all your posts even though I’m not much of a commenter. I love your back to basics posts. This one is especially timely and a great reminder.Thanks for your doses of inspiration and wisdom!

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    1. Thanks so much Debbie!xxx

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  6. What a lovely post Annabel. You are spot on about children and routine, as a mum of 3 (now grown children) I can attest to that! Now that I am older I am less structured with things, and for the most part I can juggle routines to suit the day, my energy etc. But the one thing I always think is to do the thing that your future self will thank you for! And it’s a very helpful and handy mantra!

    One thing I (and my husband) have always been good at is dropping everything on a whim if a good offer comes our way! One time friends of ours messaged us to say they were away camping, we literally dropped everything, threw some food and clothes in the camper trailer and joined them! I love doing that sort of spontaneous stuff! So while routines are excellent, winging it is good too 😁

    Love from Cheryl

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    1. Dear Cheryl, True! Probably usually being on top of things also gives you the freedom to be able to do something extra or different. I also will drop everything and go if needed or some great opportunity arises! Good thinking! With love Annabel.xxx

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  7. Back to basics. I love them!

    Dear Annabel, your words did me a world of good today, and as Hilogene said in the comments, it is hard to talk just about one or two. I find myself in many similar situations, I clean and cook when anxious and the first thing when thinking of routine were my animals and chickens/ducks. They all know the time better than I do and have something to comment when late at feeding or playing......Like Sparky

    For my grandmother and mother, although times were hard back then, they gave me a magical childhood and there were routines that made life happier and made me feel secure, for sure. I tried to pass that to my son, and all the signs are there that he picked them up. I can seriously rely on him.

    Being a crafter with fingers that have to work on something even while watching TV, it is a very good evening routine to slow down after a chaotic day. As time is very precious I always think and plan ahead, in order to make the day as smooth as I can. The food for all the animals is always prepared the day before ready to feed them, the cooking is planned/cooked or something very easy, like pasta, salad or sandwitches - we very very rarely have take out. (once or twice a year, as a celebration). Also I take my meal to work every day, usually ready prepared the evening before.

    I like the different routines seasons bring, too. Spring gets me out in the garden dreaming of flowers and up on the hills, Summer makes me deep clean the house and swim whenever I can, Autumn sees me taking long walks along the river with Charlie and preserving/canning/wine making, finally Winter takes me in the kitchen where I can cook all the heavy hearty meals, curling up in bed and knitting or anticipating my favourite holiday, Christmas. A whole year of my life pinned down in routines.

    I could write pages and pages but I want to tell you I apreciate with all my heart your post. Thank you

    With love, Laura_s_world from Romania

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    1. Dear Laura, Oh that is such a good point... our seasons, phases of the moon, the tides and also the celebrations of the year are also on a routine. We know what is coming next. I love the seasons! Like night follows day and Summer follows Spring we have these routines all around us. Interesting isn't it! Each season really has a routine... ie watering is a big part of my summer routine and bringing in the firewood is this time of year...
      I do love it all. Thank you! With much love Annabel.xxx

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  8. Dear Annabel, what a beautiful post. Funnily enough it is what someone said to me this week when I said I was anxious about the world and the children growing up in it- that I can’t control the world and to focus what I can control (the home!). So thank you for this wonderful timely reminder. You write so beautifully and uplift our spirits, thank you for your beautiful words, Annabel. I need to make the home as lovely as I can. Lots of love, B

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    1. Dear Bridge, I understand your feelings but yes to making home a sanctuary and to prayer, the whole armour of God and training your children. When I think what my own Grandparents lived through, two world wars, the Great Depression and much more... so far compared to them my life has been a picnic. Even with some whopper not so great things included. I grew up in such a carefree era I just thought all generations were the same but we were so blessed! I do miss those days though. Things sure have changed. But we still are in a good place all things considered! With much love Annabel.xxx

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  9. Thank you for this post Annabel. Your timing is often spot on although you don't know it! I also enjoy reading the comments and agree with Laura that seasonal routines are so helpful and also enjoyable. Every season has its tasks and routines and they are a comfort as the year rolls on.
    I also can get stressed and anxious sometimes and keeping things well ordered( mostly!) can head this off at the pass. I have also come to realise that action is an antidote to my stress, it doesn't matter how small the action it all helps move things forward and keeps the household ticking along calmly. Routine is sensible and enjoyable I find, a win,win!
    I love your bonus posts, thank you
    Penny in the UK

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    1. Penny I am wired the same... today I really got stuck into housework and cooking. But the house feels so much better. This helps me feel better. As you say this is a very handy win win! I loved what Laura said about seasons too! So true! With love Annabel.xxx

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  10. Dear Annabel,
    Thank you for the wonderful post. As I read I kept thinking, "what an obvious thing (routines) and yet I rarely think about them." I appreciate that you draw our attention to the little things. Routines are how we provide comfort to others, but especially to ourselves.
    Beautiful!
    ❤️ to all of you,
    Leslie (OH)

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