Save like Nana did. Old fashioned and Biblical values.
You might want to get a drink and a snack for this one!
Something got me thinking. It was a friend who was given a big supply of vegetable seeds from a food bank. No one ever took any of them! Logic would have you thinking that anyone with food insecurity would jump on some free seeds to grow. But no. Another friend got beautiful meat to roast in a similar way... because no one took it because it involved cooking. In my way of thinking both of these opportunities were fantastic and I felt just stumped that people would turn them down. And although I am generalising I think I know why.
One group of people are walking and living in darkness. They are thinking about today only. They want something fast they can eat with no preparation and no effort. They have no thought what so ever for tomorrow or beyond. They have no plans. Everything is about today for them. Some could argue this is due to the continual hardship they are under. Some could argue they are under continual hardship due to this thinking. Some are traumatised or exhausted and cannot see any way ahead.
Some desperately want to learn to prepare food, cook, preserve, stock up, fix and make things, grow... and because of the internet they mostly can and will soon find others doing the same. I am glad to see more and more people wanting to learn these kind of skills. I will do basically anything to help someone wanting to learn.
Others do not want to learn at all but they want money or a box of ready to eat foods. Again I am generalising and there are exceptions but after seeing this for many years I think that very often addictions are involved. People really live in true darkness due to addictions. I used to severely underestimate this but I was forced to learn the hard way, living with an addict. My x husband was an addict and so where his grown kids and I had absolutely no understanding. So I was plunged into a steep learning curve and what I learned is still manifesting into some way of being able to understand living in darkness.
In a nutshell once someone is an addict they stop learning. Their focus is on obtaining what they need as fast as they can at any cost and TODAY. They have no thought of tomorrow or the future at all. They make no plans and don't seem to realise they need plans to procure what they need in the future because they truly only think of today. So there is no saving, no planting, no pantry, no emergency fund, no planing ahead at all. The addiction could be anything from coke, (drink) alcohol, drugs, gambling or other behaviour, shopping, TV, gaming, porn... who knows. My experience taught me that an addict might give up an addiction only to choose another. My situation was my x husband went from alcohol to gambling and online addictions. So the end result was the same. Chaos. Hope that always ends in disappointment.
I thought to delete this part of todays post because it is not normal for me to post this kind of content. But I feel to keep it because someone could be reading this and in quite a bit of trouble due to addictions in their family. They may have tried everything, they may be at their wits end. The darkness of addictions is truly beyond the belief of a person living in light and freedom and so we do not "get it." We try everything and we think we have made a breakthrough only to be disappointed. But, sadly, you cannot reason or negotiate with an addict, it is all in the moment and baloney in the end.
I am sure someone will blast me for over generalising but this is my experience. Your experience might be different and that is ok.
Finally I will add IF a person truly wants to be free of addictions the Grace of God is there for them and it can be done! But nothing any other person says or does will make any difference. THEY alone have to make their own very hard decisions.
On Friday I posted about how important your pantry is. An emergency fund is very important too but food comes first because it would be easy to have money and be unable to buy food with it in a grid down, storm or shut down situation.
Society and advertising have told us that we deserve to have everything new, the trips to Bali, destination weddings, limousines for the school formal, spray tans and, apparently, Taylor Swift tickets for thousands of dollars. Then other social trends have strongly encouraged minimalism and only buying food for today or not buying groceries at all. What could go wrong? WORSE than this is that principles like saving and responsibility are ridiculed and are referred to as "hoarding" and the same re having a pantry. Using an insult to belittle a person for trying very hard to care for their family... to me this is subversive and evil. Do not fall for it! Do not be moved! Why exactly would someone want you to NOT be able to feed your family in a crisis? Why indeed.
So now the opposite. Like chalk and cheese! Nana's way. Nana's way was full of hope and plans for the future. Life was lived in a happy and orderly manner. My Grandparents could be relied upon to help at a moments notice. They were prepared and like the Proverbs 31 woman Nana had no fear of the winter as she was well and truly ready.
Some of the words that apply are so seldom used today that they are worth looking more deeply into. I love them! I think on them. The more you think on them the more beauty you see. So where did these words go? And why? mmm
Prudent. Acting with or showing care and thought for the future.
Diligent. Careful and persistent work or effort.
Faithful. Remaining loyal and steadfast.
Steadfast. Staying the same for a long time and not changing quickly or unexpectedly.
Watchful. To be alert and Vigilant.. watching something closely.
Vigilant. Carefully watching for danger or difficulties.
Industrious. Diligent and hard working.
Stewardship. Taking care of something or supervising something. To be careful and responsible in the management of something entrusted to ones care.
And many others such as loyal, selfless, consistent... actually consistency is one of my favourites. Oh boy that one serves a family well. It amazes me every day what can be achieved with consistency!
These are all beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. They are worth soaking in, pondering and absorbing.
I wish I could remember it word by word but Glenda said that fiscal responsibility is a very important part of showing love for your family. Their lives might depend on it. Glenda please chime in and say that again it was brilliant! Nan and Pa were examples of this. They had a budget and carefully planned, taking every opportunity to do well with adding food to the pantry, preserving, growing, baking, their home was a hive of activity and creativity.
Nan and Pa thought long and hard about financial decisions. They were not wasteful. They were truly good stewards. I think that is a post in itself as the ways to be good stewards in the course of an average day or week are many! Being so responsible they were always able to be very generous. They were able to help others and their lives were filled with very good friends that all helped each other.
I am thinking on all of the words I mentioned so much. How can I go about my week with all of them in mind? Most of all how can I bring goodness into every day? They may be old fashioned words and values but truth and wisdom never change, they are forever. xxx
You've touched on so many good things here. I have lived with a MIL who has always been addicted to prescription drugs. It has dictated many days of our lives and I have often resented the time she has stolen from my family, with her shenanigans. Addiction chips away at whatever love you might have felt for that person, because they rarely care about anyone but themselves.
ReplyDeleteAs for the other part, you are so right! This world and it's conflicting messages of paring down or stocking up. What are we to do? But you've said it very well...provide for the family by being prepared, prudent, diligent, and determined. We cannot count on the government or any other entity to care for our loved ones. God gave us the wisdom and the means to do these things, so we must take that job seriously. What a great post! Thank you for sharing.
Lovely post. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts…and I loved the list of words, I will reread this again today to think about how important they are. Hilogene in Az.
ReplyDeleteI remember this quote : “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas A. Edison
ReplyDeletePerhaps some are already running as fast as they can to keep up with jobs, life, that they can’t see a way that they can possibly change course to make changes that will help them in the long run! I think we need to teach,guide, support in little bits at a time- like the answer to “how do you eat an elephant?”
If we are visible to those around us as we prepare, others (not all but some) will notice and ask how/why we prepare and start on their own path to self reliance.
Gardenpat in Ohio
Love that quote!
DeleteFirst , I love your blog.
DeleteIt is always a serene place to visit.
But it's also always interesting and I constantly learn from you and your readers.
I was told by someone who worked a good bank
that they can't give flour away. No one wants it.
It involves a bit of work to use.
I am allergic to wheat.
Gluten free bread here is 7.99 a loaf.
I spent the morning grinding gf oats into flour.
Then baking bread.
I bought the organic oats at a discount store for two dollars a bag. They retail for 7.99 a bag in my town.
I am not paying 8 bucks for bread that is tasteless .
I have herbs growing on my deck. I have tomatoes,peppers,squash also.
I shop only what is on sale. I use what I grow.
Times are hard and we all must be good stewards of our resources.
Dear Annabel,
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. Please don't apologize for your thoughts...we need folks that will speak the truth in love! Funnily enough, a series is on the radio this week on Haven Today, about it being 20 years since the host's son died of an overdose. Perhaps in light of your comments about "addictions", this might be encouraging to someone. Link: https://haventoday.ca/series/saving-a-life-2023/
The picture of the lemon butter/curd with the yellow roses is my idea of true beauty! I will ponder these words all week!
xx Jen in NS
Another awesome post with much to ponder. Thank you! Missy
ReplyDeleteThis really echos some of my very thoughts over the last few months, especially after living in Chicago proper for 35+ years (now in suburban Chciago), after having grown up in a more rural and agricultural area. I think that, not only is it that addiction-like spiral of "surviving" day-to-day, but in many cases a contributing factor is the breakdown of the nuclear family and loss of knowledge as older family passes away. We no longer have grandma cooking traditional family fare at home while watching her grandchildren or a traditional Sunday family meal. We rarely eat together as a family and discus the meal and ask questions about its preparation. Home Ec is no longer taught in school, for those who aren't getting the basics from Mom at home. So how are today's youth learning these skills, if their mother didn't learn it, and grandmother can't remember her mother's method? Those who have access and a little motivation MAY turn to the Internet to learn how to make dinner, but most will not. Survival day-to-day means getting food as quickly as you can, regardless of nutrient value. And today's young adults seem convinced that a fast food Happy Meal is a balanced dinner for their 2 year old. I've often thought about teaching a class on the basics to young women, but don't know where to begin or if there's even any interest. Luckily, my daughter has an interest and loves to come over and help when I put up tomatoes or pickles, or make jam. And we bake together around the holidays, using a combination of recipes from my childhood days of baking with my Mom and Grandma, sprinkled in with a few new recipes. But, many young women don't have that desire, nor a family member who can teach them. And, not only are they not getting it in school, I'm not sure how much depression-era history is even being taught in American History courses. And that really concerns me.
ReplyDeleteI worked in prison ministry and mentored a woman who had spent three years in prison on drug charges. She had literally given up every single thing for those pills. She lost her husband and three daughters and access to her grandchildren. She gave up an award winning career as a kindergarten teacher. In one year she was back in prison again. There was nothing I could do or say to help her. She even threatened suicide if I did not help her get the pills. Such a sad story. She had a beautiful life and threw it away.
ReplyDeleteOur kids are amazed by the good meals at our house but no amount of trying to educate them on how to keep a pantry has changed their ways of shopping for a week or even a day at a time and paying full price for everything. If there is ever a disaster I am too far away to help.
Great post! You know I think just like you on all of this!
Dear lana, i want to support you in your desire for your children to begin to prepare. The first thing is to speak the truth in love..perhaps a letter. And the second is to put the responsibility squarely where it belongs. Mon them. I was in the same place with an adult child who i felt i needed to help because they wouldn't get with it. Instead i prayed and now this adult child has a good pantry and he has a freezer too. They make their own choices in shopping but between spelling it out for them thats it is their responsibility not yours, and praying, i saw sweet relief from the problem. We sometimes have to help them help themselves.
DeleteThis is a beautiful post. Thank you. As a retired nurse I saw how addictive behavior was/is. It’s so sad.
ReplyDeleteOn another note….I love stocking my pantry and keeping my freezer filled with food. I’ve been told I’m a hoarder but it always bring to mind the little book Little Red Hen. I like to be able to bake or cook something up without running to the store. If someone is in need of a meal I can make something without thinking if only I had bought something extra to fix.
Everyone is busy with work, activities or needing to be “lazy” instead of taking time to learn what us older folks have to offer in teaching skills.
God bless you for your post today.
Phyllis from Oregon
Such a poignant post - thank you.
ReplyDeleteSome folks will refuse the seeds and the roast because they are living in temporary and inadequate motel rooms and are therefore unable to cook. Even if they took the seeds for “sunnier” days, they know they will probably reside in an apartment. As you have already stated, some are addicted and some even too sick to care for themselves properly.
I learned this by collecting non-perishable items for needy folks and learned anything that require cooking may be a challenge.
Hi Nadege,
DeleteWhere I live there are quite a lot of homeless people and others living in emergency shelters. There is an increasing amout of mortgage stress as well.Your're right about these people not being in a situation where they can grow food or store it easily. This is a reality that I have never considered before so thankyou for your comment it has opened my eyes.There is a food bank at our local church which often throws out perishable goods as no one wants them. A friend of mine goes and collects the unwanted produce and either finds people to deliver it to or makes soups which she then takes back to the church for distribution. Now I understand better why the soup is more popular than the raw ingredients.
Annabel, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts exactly as they were. Many of us have had experience with addiction issues (for me, it was an alcoholic father). But I also had extremely positive and good role models in my mom and grandma. I believe God uses both the good and bad experiences we have to shape and teach us. The values and virtues you shared resonated so strongly with me! And your words, "How can I bring goodness into every day?" really sunk into my mind. I have cut way back on my news sources and am trying to build up my home as a cocoon against the world's traumas. Yes, I know what's happening, basically, but I'm choosing to concentrate on the good things in my life and taking care of my husband, and in extended ways, my son and his wife. I'm trying to be a good steward of what we have been given, and I want to help where I can. I'm concentrating lately on preparing for the upcoming fall and winter, but I'm doing it with more of a sense of making home a sanctuary rather than a fortress. Yes, your word list will be in my thoughts. You are a real blessing, Annabel, and I appreciate this community of like-minded women you've created.
ReplyDeleteJill. I love your words and your attitude. I have also cut back on the news etc and trying to focus on the good.... God bless you. Xx
DeleteLovely post and the ones who need the advice will never see it, love your postings, longtime reader, first time poster, Min in KY
ReplyDeleteDear Annabel, Well, you hit the nail on the head! But as you say, so many are not listening. They’re purposefully taught that they have a “right” to do their way and that just want to “rain on their parade!” As a firmer teacher, I’ve seen what COULD be but we’ve (special interest groups) curbed this in education. In Denmark, they believe interacting with others, socializing and deportment/manners are so necessary in life, that they only teach those things in the first years! No math or writing, etc., etc. then, in like 3rd grade they start with the rest! So many just don’t get what they need in today’s families with all the distractions and problems that seem to plague us, bad or bad and many times not of our making. Remember how we were taught compared to today?
ReplyDeleteIf someone made a pact or promise or someone gave you a handshake, “his word was his bond” or “he was as good as his word!”
Now we shouldn’t touch their hand or “you’re crazy if you believe his promise!”
Also, where I taught, we had a high school program where couples pretended to be married or sharing, and tgey had to make a plan. You picked a job you wanted by offers in the paper and the posted salary. You found where you’d live and monthly cost. Buy furnishings, a car, maybe, etc. one day I had a student I knew well, come to me and explain what an eye opener it was. He said, “We found we had to get a cheaper apartment, and no phonograph if we wanted a TV, we’ll have to bicycle when we can or take a bus because owning a car is very expensive!!” Everyone needs that course but try and sell it! They just smile!! Algebra will be of more use! Oh, please!
Well I’m stopping for breath! Let me end with thought: “Bad thoughts will always present themselves but you don’t have to think them!”
Our best wishes to you, Annabel, and all the Bluebirds and their families!
Rick from Florida and Donna in Indiana xoxo
I'm a teacher in Melbourne, Australia, and we have a course in year 9 called 'Wisdom and Service', which is the school motto. Things like this are taught here, along with teaching about how our government works and a whole heap of other practical things.
DeleteWhen they finish year 9 they all have qualifications in Barista work and in food handling skills.
Very inspiring post Annabel, much food for thought. My in laws who had reared 11 children so were well versed in stretching the dollar helped deliver for a charity in the 90s. They were shocked at the amount of complaints from the people getting boxes of free food because they had wanted steak not mince or sausages and didn’t know how to cook many everyday vegetables. Times are getting much worse for sure and how we use the money and provisions we purchase grow or make ourselves is becoming more crucial.....Sharlene
ReplyDeleteHi Sharlene, further to your comment about people being dissatisfied with the contents of free food boxes - which is just incredible! I am surprised by the number of people in my daughter's generation ( she is in her late 20's) who refuse to eat left overs. They prefer to get takeaways even though money is in short supply. Eventually the home cooked food is thrown out - such wastage really annoys me.
DeleteAnnabel, Thank you for the very honest and open post. I agree with everything you said. I tried to raise our children to be self sufficient but realize there were holes in their upbringing. I am trying to remedy this by giving advice when asked. I am also trying to teach my grandchildren how to be self sufficient and to make wise decisions including where to go for advice. I am also trying to teach them why this is important. No one can rely on the government to take care of them. I cannot think of a single family who has not been affected by addiction in some form; mine included. I was shocked by the number of "friends" and family members who walked away from us when one of our children developed depression as a teen and turned to drugs to try to solve the problem. We lost even more support when another child of ours returned home after serving in the army with an alcohol problem. Eventually, both got help and are on the road to recovery. But it has been such a heartbreaking experience. Here in my part of Appalachia the statistics are staggering when it comes to drug use and the younger population. The area is full of hard working people of the older generation (lots of coal miners) who are watching their teen aged children ruin their loves. There is a good show on YouTube by Peter Santorello on the subject. If I did not have Jesus to encourage me through the hard and scary times I know not what I would do. I thank you for being honest about your experiences and encouraging us to be vigilant. I love your list of words and will be posting them on my refrigerator to ponder daily God bless and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteDear Annabel,
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing post. I am always reading, but not always commenting.
You are always inspiring me with the beautiful ways you care for your family and prep.
I have been preparing much longer, but you teach me the beauty of following God’s plan for us.
Your blog is a safe spot with friends, a sunny day to visit when things get too tough..
And when you are extraordinarily frank, I am grateful, too.
It is a special combination, a lady who is prepared and truly understands how much she might need those preparations.
Much love. Patti in California
This is a wonderful post and it has really made me think. Thank you. x
ReplyDeleteDear Annabel,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post - you are a Light to me!!!.
I will read it again and again whenever I feel the need of like minded people. You encourage me go further and build up my pantry and take care of my family the best I can with what possibilities I have. Not many persons around me prepares and they belittle me a bit for not living their style but once they said *If tomorrow would be Christmas you would be prepared for it* and although they had not meant it like that, I chose to take it as a compliment.
Sending you love from far away. Laura_s_world from Romania
Dear Annabel,
ReplyDeleteThis post was so profound and full of wisdom. Thank you for sharing it. "Truth and wisdom never change;" words to live by.
Often, as I am speaking or writing, the Holy Spirit gives me the message. I don't remember word for word what I wrote, but the truth is in your summary. I will add, love is shown through actions and planning. Taking take care of one's family now and in the future shows a deep, abiding love.
Too often, in today's "instant gratification" world people buy whatever they want at the moment they want it. That shows self-centeredness and a total disregard for others in the family. I can think of so many instances where men left their families broke when they passed. The women had to take bankruptcy and go to work, some at a very advanced age. Some families become homeless due to lack of fiscal discipline.
Annabel, your list of words of integrity is perfect. Those words were standards as I grew up in the 1950's. Today, not only are they rarely used, but people do not possess the attributes of them. The first word "prudent," should be a gold standard. Prudence in all matters begets thought, foresight and wisdom.
As women, we think of the future for our children and grandchildren. We want them well cared for, loved, safe and wise. We are examples and mentors for that. We are teachers for the future. Today's adults and youth lack the skills for survival if they have only been taught technology. I see this all the time. When the world crashes, they will, also.
I know this is long, but I would like to share an example of forethought I saw in my grandmother. She was born in 1892, so in a time frame when women did the housework. Her mother had died young at the age of 39, so she and her older sister raised the younger two children and ran the household. My great grandfather owned a hardware store and never remarried.
When my grandmother and grandfather married they farmed, which was common for the day. However, my grandfather was also an excellent draftsman, designer, carpenter and had an innate skill for engineering. He completed education for those skills and worked in that field after they sold the farm, due to his diabetes.
My grandmother, with forethought, decided that they needed a business, a grocery store, to have something that they could make income from if my grandfather's health got too bad to work. My grandmother was an incredible book keeper for both her home and business and she worked both everyday. Food was always available to them and it was a source of income and socialization. My grandfather could not work, standing, the last ten years of his life. For eight years I was most blessed as he was my primary caregiver and teacher, until he passed, at the age of 68. Forethought, prudence, wisdom from God, always protects us for the future.
With love,
Glenda
I am a bit late commenting. But I really appreciate this post! Thank you for your transparency Annabel. I must admit, I have always been curious about your first marriage. On the other hand, it was so refreshing for you to not feel obligated to explain.
ReplyDeleteThose words you shared might seem old-fashioned to some, but timeless to me! Growing up in California, I was baptized in the "Save the Planet" mentality. As a Christian, I saw being a good steward as the best way to honor some of those teachings. When we recycle, garden, and buy second-hand, we are being good stewards. I am so thankful that God taught me these ways long ago when I was a young mom! It has saved my family $1000's!
I am thankful that my older children are careful with their money. They saw mom and dad eek out a living.😃
Blessings,
Leslie in Ohio
Dear Annabel, what a thought provoking post. I am so sad when I see addictions and you are right there are so many. I also cannot fathom people spending money on frivolous things at times like these. I think people really expect to be bailed out when things get tough. I did splurge and get my hair done, but while I was there the hairdresser was talking to another lady- the hairdresser had just been overseas, had bought a new car, and had bought Taylor Swift tickets for her daughter so they could have a girls' weekend. I tried to listen with an open heart, but I truly feel like I am on another planet. And I know these same people think I am boring- yes I have been called that before. I love these words. and I must reflection them and pray on them. Lots of love, Lily
ReplyDeleteI don't know where to start.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything you wrote, but not every addict spirals so deep they cannot care for their families. My father was an alcoholic until the day he died. He was dead drunk about 4 days a week. He was a mean, unhappy, miserable man and everything revolved around him and his drinking. My mother had mental health issues and was always extremely angry. No, they didn't really prepare for anything, but they paid their bills, lived in a dump (that was paid for) and we always had food. We definitely lived poor--not frugal. Although about the time I started school, my mother taught herself to sew to save money. They actually helped my sister and me through college! (Didn't pay for everything, but helped--a huge surprise to us both).
I was thrilled that my husband didn't have much interest in alcohol. But, he was deep into it within a year and a half of our marriage. Still, that lifestyle wasn't one of his values. He did care. From the outside, we seemed like a very normal family. We made some financial mistakes, but nothing we couldn't recover from. I was squirreling away food all the time, mostly as a result of my inlaws' influence. They were wonderful people, much like the grandparents many of you have written about.
No one can recover from addiction unless they want to. Also, longterm sobriety is very rare. My husband was always ashamed of his drinking. He wouldn't take any advice from me. But he knew I was on the verge of leaving and taking the kids, and he wanted to get sober for them. After 15 years of heavy drinking, he went to rehab for a month, began practicing AA principles, had a relapse, got sober again...and has been sober since Oct. 23, 1987. Since then he has had one short relapse and a couple of one-day slips. (Sobriety isn't necessarily perfect, but he hasn't had a single drink in over 30 years).
One of the reasons addicts don't prepare for the future is that they don't believe they have a future. (And many don't). Also, drinking, drugs, gambling, etc., are very expensive. There usually isn't anything left at the end of the month.
To be fair, we are of an older generation, both born in the 1940s. The values held by most of the Bluebirds were very common then. People talk about the conformity of the 1950s, but I feel I was very lucky to have grown up then. Even though I didn't have many good examples at home, I understood that my family wasn't normal and had plenty of good role models in the neighborhood, at school, church and even on TV. Whatever I saw my parents do, I did the opposite!
--Maxine
I volunteered at my church food bank. Some people refused items such as meat, flour because they did not have the means to cook it.... no oven or stove. Seeds were not accepted because they had no garden and pots/compost to windowsill garden cost money they didn't have. Some had no Internet to learn how to garden and reading was an issue for some so couldn't access a library. After each shift I always thought how lucky I have been to have learnt skills, routines and good attitudes from positive role models in my life. Many people have had no such guidance.For many people a visit to a food bank is the beginning of a better future as they receive encouragement and friendship as well as food.Most of our clients were not in this situation due to addiction. Many had jobs but still could not pay all their bills. All of them were ashamed to be there.
ReplyDeleteHere in the UK access to a food bank was via health or benefit officials or the church. These officials gave a voucher to the person to allow them to go the food bank. They were only expected to visit for a limited number of times too. I'm not sure if this is still the same.
I write this not to criticise but to show an insight to the circumstances many find themselves in due to no fault of their own.
Sorry forgot to add my name re my working in church food bank..... Lynn from UK
ReplyDeleteWhat can one say about your post Annabel, other than excellent. Thank you so much for your wisdom and all the things I learn each week fro your writings.
ReplyDeleteBlessings Gail.
Thanks for your beautiful post. I truely love your ‘save like Nanna series.’ There is so much wisdom in the old ways. I soak it up and enjoy every word. How I wish my Grandparents were still here.
ReplyDeleteJust wondering if the pink rose pictured is from your garden? Do you know the name?
God bless,
Kirsty